Here we go, gang … and this should get you laughing quick. There is a new manual for doctors published by the American Medical Association, “Health Literacy and Patient Safety.” It was published in hopes of solving the problem that nearly half of all patients have trouble understanding what the doctor tells them. Go figure! The other side of that is that when the doctor says, “Do you understand?” most patients who don’t will fib and say. “Yes.” Think about that one while we are laughing! Get ready … here we go!
Our Kamuela community is pretty small with many of us separated by acres. This discourages “door-to-door” solicitations. But if you are bothered, do what this homemaker did … put out a sign. “NO SOLICITING! *We are too broke to buy anything. *We already know who we are voting for. *We have found religion. *Seriously, unless you are selling something chocolate, please go away!” It solved their problem!
A new store opened in New York City that sells new husbands. A woman visits and at the entrance of the first floor is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store but please continue now to the second floor. A sign reads: Floor 2. These men have jobs and love kids. “That’s nice’ she thinks, but I want more.” So she goes to the third floor. The sign there reads: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking! “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor, where the sign reads: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead handsome, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak! She is so tempted to stay but just must see the fifth floor! There the sign reads: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store! (maybe someone will open a New Wives store!!)
OK, ladies, a couple for you … A man looking for love sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club. The reply came back: “We are not that lonely!” (Oh, I’m in trouble … but one more?)
A man who has not shaved or bathed approaches a seat at the bar and says to the woman sitting next to the seat: “Is this seat empty?” The woman replies, “Yes, and this one will be if you sit down!” (OK … dats enough!)
A boy returns from his first day at summer school and his mother asked “So, how did school go today?”
“Fine,” the little fellow replied. “We have a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers. I told her I was an only child.”
“What did she say,” his mother asked.
“The teacher said, “Thank goodness!”
And I will close with some “Gentle Thoughts for Your Week:”
*Birds of a feather flock together … And then s—- on your car. Sorta what bureaucrats do to us!
*A penny saved is government oversight!
*The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement!
*Did you ever notice: The Roman numerals for 40 are XL!
*The sole purpose for a child’s middle name is so he or she can tell when really in trouble!
*Did you ever notice that when you put the two words ‘The” and “IRS’ together, it spells ‘Theirs’! Couple more?
*He who hesitates is probably right! … and the grande finale …
*You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks!
I will close with a”‘thought for the week” …. “People may not remember exactly what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” Be well, my friends … do good deeds … Aloha … a hui hou …